“For there is no distinction, since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; they are now justified by his grace as a gift…”

I confess at the outset, that this is a rather personal sermon. The first six months of this year have been difficult for me on many fronts. I am living in a world that has changed since September 11th and I am changed. As a result, the commitments I have made and responsibilities I feel are tugging at me in a more tortuous way than before. The commitments and responsibilities I have to my clients have kept me away from this Church more than I prefer, and my desire to be more involved here than I am, has in many respects prevented me from being available to my clients and law partners in a manner commensurate with my obligations to them. The struggle to find balance has also caused me to question my value, emotionally and spiritually, to family, friends and even this congregation. The choices I have made have left so little of me to go around, I have seriously contemplated giving up some of the commitments and responsibilities I have accepted, which is difficult to for me to admit, as I firmly believe that it is only by God’s grace that I am here at all. Have you been there?

I understand that grace is a gift that cannot be earned and I certainly do not deserve; yet it is given unconditionally by God for all to receive. It is a gift for which I am thankful and gratefully accept; yet I struggle so. Why? Now don’t worry, this is not the preamble to a discourse on Martin Luther’s justification in faith by grace not good works alone, but rather something far simpler. Why do those of us who acknowledge and live in grace still struggle so? Only recently have I come to realize that for me, the question may be answered not in a fuller understanding and appreciation grace, but in being honest with myself about what I have done or failed to do with the gift of grace.

During a conference on comparative religions many years ago, experts from around the world debated what, if any, belief was unique to the Christian faith. Incarnation? Other religions had different versions of gods appearing in human form. Resurrection? Other religions had accounts of returning from death. Virtually every possibility was eliminated until C.S. Lewis showed up and inquired about the subject of the discourse. When told participants were attempting to identify Christianity’s unique contribution among world religions, Lewis responded, “Oh that’s easy. It’s grace.”

He was right. The notion of God’s love coming to us free of charge, no strings attached, does in fact appear to go against every human instinct. The Buddhist eight-fold path, the Hindu doctrine of Karma, the Jewish covenant, the Muslim code of law---all offer a way to earn approval. Only Christianity declares God’s love unconditional. And doesn’t this ring true, for irrespective of whether or not a child has followed the guidelines you set or path which you think best for him or her, what parent in the very foundation of their soul, does not unconditionally love their child? And if this unconditional love doesn’t ring true in your life, whether it be with your children, spouse, other family or friends, then may I suggest that you too, like me, need to honestly exam what you are doing with God’s grace, which you have not had to earn, yet freely accept.

All five of our children have been home this past week, Kelley and Jennifer returning from college to attend Sarah’s graduation from junior high and T.J. and Laura’s graduations from high school. To say that life has been hectic would be an understatement. Instead of trying to accommodate everyone’s different schedules, it’s been far easier to put something on the grill and rent movies for those who have been able to work an evening at home into their busy schedules. One of the movies we rented was a movie that came out last year titled Riding in Cars with Boys; the true story of the life of a young woman named Beverly who became pregnant at age 15. The movie chronicles her life from grade school to about age 35, depicting the choices she makes along the way, and how those choices impacted the significant relationships in her life. Most insightfully it showed how people living in and by grace, seemed never to be able to share or extend the gift with others. At age 15, Beverly was so ashamed and fearful of her parents reaction to her pregnancy, she was unable to tell them face to face, but rather wrote a letter. The letter ended, “Perhaps, after the anger for which you have every right to feel, you will remember I am the daughter you once loved.” Upon discussing the situation with her and finding her plan was not to marry but raise the child on her own, her father responded, “well I had a plan too; to work hard, raise a good family and hold my head high, but that plan is dead now.” To which he added, “I thought you were special, but now you have ruined your life and broken my heart.” From that moment forward, even though they loved one another, father and daughter’s relationship was never the same. Each individually making their way through life’s difficulties only by the gift of grace was unable or unwilling to extend grace to the other. Each was waiting for the other to make the first move. Maybe because of the multitude of emotions I am now experiencing as two more of my children prepare to move on, or maybe because of the cutting sharpness of the father’s words to his hurting daughter, I realized that every encounter we have with others is an opportunity to share grace. I saw a part of myself in that father. As a disciple of Christ professing the gift of grace, I have failed to fully appreciate that although acknowledged and accepted, grace in great measure is truly received to the degree it is shared by us with others. And just as God has given us this gift in forgiveness, we can only extend grace in and by forgiveness.

Henri Nouwen defines forgiveness as “love practiced among people who love poorly.” And while I do love, at times I love poorly. It seems impossible for us to live life without being hurt and hurting others. It is difficult for me to forgive, others, and myself even when I know I should. And in being honest with myself, when I have tried, I must acknowledge that my heart at times has remained angry and resentful.

Even when I attempt to forgive, I seek some confirmation that I am right, or some type of praise, even if it is just for making the effort to forgive! But God’s forgiveness, that’s a different story. God’s forgiveness is unconditional, coming from a heart that does not demand anything for itself. That is the grace we cannot earn and do not deserve, and the source by which we are called and empowered to extend grace to others.

It is easy in this day and age for some to look at the world and question God’s grace. It is also easy for some of us, to acknowledge and receive it, now matter how undeserved, but do little else. At the center of all of Jesus’ parables stands a God who takes initiative toward us. A father who could have felt betrayed, but rather runs to meet and embrace the prodigal son and a landlord who without evidence of coercion or outward benefit cancels a debt too large for any servant to pay. Even as they struggled, they took the initiative. And even though I struggle, I know more surely than I know anything, that any sense of goodness, forgiveness or healing I have ever felt, comes solely from the grace of God. I am so lucky he didn’t wait for me to make the first move. I am learning grace by being graced. And I am beginning to sense, that in sharing more freely that which I receive but do not deserve, my struggles will be lightened.

Amen